The Chaplain as an Active Listener

I work as a chaplain in an NHS acute care setting.  Recently a colleague from another profession complimented us as a chaplaincy group by saying: ‘You always know what to say to people and what to tell them’.  Although grateful for the positive feedback we all responded in unison; ‘No. Our job is not to tell people what to do but to listen to them’.

As chaplains we probably take our role as listeners for granted.  After all it is central to what all people centred professionals do? Yet arguably, in chaplaincy, active listening is the most important skill we possess and the greatest gift we can offer to those we encounter in our role.  We are not counsellors or therapists (although many of us may have those qualifications) but we are, our should be, skilled in active listening.

‘Active listening is a communication skill that involves hearing, evaluating and responding to what is heard’. (Hargie et al. 1994)

When we listen, we are not passive, we are entering into the mindset and heart set of someone else. We are hearing a range of emotions from grief or sadness to anger and frustration.  We are meeting people in the place where they find themselves. We are acknowledging their emotions and accepting their stories. We are letting them know that they are understood.  Sometimes our active listening can lead to visible growth and discernment in the other person but just as often the benefits are not discernible, but what matters is that we have been fully present for the other person.  Growth, if at all will happen in their time and not in ours.  

‘People start to heal the moment they feel heard’ (Cheryl Richardson Sanvello)
We know from our own experience that when we are listened to our wellbeing is enhanced, we feel empowered and believe that we have choices.  This is borne out by a recent piece of research carried out by the University of Leeds on the importance of listening in NHS hospitals which showed that current care models do not allow enough time or recognition for listening encounters with patients. The outcome of research showed that; ‘The transformational power attributed to listening encounters was unanimous within all participants and groups’ (Active Listening by Hospital Chaplaincy Volunteers. A Manzano. 2015) The benefits of active listening can of course be applied to all chaplaincy setting and chaplaincy encounters.  

As religious chaplains, there is a distinctive dimension to our listening role.
‘For when two or three come together in my name, there am I with them’ (Matthew 18:20) Regardless of whether we are in a religious encounter in our chaplaincy role, we are conduits for God’s presence. This is what roots us as chaplains.  It is also what sustains us and reminds us that we too need to listen for the ‘still small voice’ (1 Kings 19:12) it is very important that we are aware of our reactions to what we hear in our chaplaincy encounters, that we are supported through colleagues and supervision and our spiritual lives. In order to be able to hear others we too need to be heard.

Mary Hanna. Chaplain in Acute NHS Care and CWC Trustee.

A Time for Everything

It’s not often that passages of the Bible make it into songs that hit the heights of the pop music charts. Many might think of Psalm 137, which was given a reggae beat and became a hit for Boney M as the song ‘By the rivers of Babylon’. But an arguably better known passage became a No 1 for American group The Byrds. Set to a tune written by the folk singer Pete Seeger, the lyrics are taken almost verbatim from Ecclesiastes chap 3, verses 1-8. The song, ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’, has been recorded by many others, including Judy Collins, Nina Simone, Mary Hopkin, Dolly Parton, Chris De Burgh, The Seekers and Emmylou Harris to name a few.

The words will be familiar, I am sure, but let me remind you of them.

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

New International Version.

I have been thinking about these words over the past few days, after receiving an unexpected message.

The story starts some years ago, when I was working as a prison chaplain. I had to go and tell one of our residents, let me call her Joan, that her son had been killed in a car crash. Giving someone that kind of news is never easy but that occasion was particularly hard. Joan literally crumpled in front of me and wailed with pain. I spent an hour or two with her but eventually she had to return to her cell and stay there, locked up, alone in her agony.

Over the following days I would go back to see if I could offer some support but usually all she wanted was that someone would sit with her while she sobbed. In due course, arrangements were made for the son’s funeral and I helped her apply for permission to attend. It was a three hour journey each way and she was only allowed to be present for the actual service, with no real opportunity to speak to any family members. It seems very hard, but those are prison regulations.

Weeks went by, and then turned into months. And eventually Joan started to talk to me. And the thing that she wanted to know was ‘Why’? Why had her son died? Why then, just when they had started to rebuild their relationship? Why, when he was on the cusp of making his own way in the world?

When I first met Joan she would not describe herself as having any kind of faith. In fact, I don’t think she had ever really given any thought as to what God might be like. But as we talked over those months and then years, she began to ask me why I did the job I did, when it meant having to do such awful things as give people like her bad news. She started probing me about what my Christian faith meant to me, and whether it had helped me through any bad patches in my own life. I was able to share some of my life experiences with her and, whilst I had not had any tragedies on a scale comparable to hers, she could see that my life – like most of us – had not been plain sailing.

In time, Joan began to ask about the nature of prayer. started to read the Bible, began to attend a small fellowship group.  She started to talk in ways that suggested she no longer felt alone. Joan was serving a long sentence and as I moved towards retirement she wanted to know who would be around for her to talk to as, having been the chaplain who had broken the news to her, she didn’t feel anybody else would understand her situation. I encouraged her to talk to other chaplains but also said that, if she wanted to, she could write to me and I might even be able to visit her.

The pandemic lockdown came along, so visits were impossible, but we exchanged occasional letters. Then Joan was transferred to another prison, which basically meant that visits were ruled out, but we continued to exchange letters. A few weeks ago she wrote to me and, among other things, said “I believe that talking to God is getting me through the tough time I am going through, and I know that he is keeping my son safe. One day I will join him (not yet though, in the future).” In my reply I encouraged her to keep on talking!

Then came the unexpected message. Joan had died. I wrote to her mum expressing my sadness. Within days I had texts from Joan’s brother and sister and her daughter. Then phone calls. “Why, Michael? Why has she died just as she was beginning to plan for her release? Why did it have to end like this?” And then: “Would you do a reading and speak and pray as her body is laid to rest next to that of her son?”

At the beginning of Ecclesiastes (chap 1:2) the Teacher writes “Utterly meaningless, everything is meaningless.” The word comes from the Hebrew for smoke or fog. In other words, it’s not that life has no reason but rather that it’s sometimes difficult to see clearly why something is happening just now. But there is a time for everything. And so I will read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and pray with certainty that Joan’s hope of being reunited with her son will be fulfilled.

Chaplaincy cannot be a neatly defined activity starting at nine and ending at five. The work has to be about those among whom we minister. But, to my mind, walking alongside others as they go through the ups and downs of life, sharing with them, helping them see through a fog more clearly, is a privilege of the highest order. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

By Revd. Michael Page, CWC Trustee

For all without exception

By Jane Thompson, CWC

I’ve recently been at a couple of events with CWC that I think shows the huge breadth that supporting others at work covers. Supporting someone at work can cover so many areas and often practical ‘training’ spring to mind instantly. But if we said ‘Supporting someone in life’ the enormity (and power) of this statement is clear.

Workplace Chaplains have to keep an open mind and a commitment to embrace all types of people, beliefs, conversations and challenges. I recently read a description of ‘For all without exception’ when reading an article about different types of chaplaincy and I really like this phrase.

The title of the article I read really caught my attention because if we called Workplace Chaplains ‘Emergency Services for the Soul’ it would explain how crucial the role can be sometimes.

Of course, many Workplace Chaplains would say this is too strong a description and it does of course depend on the industry, but how do we know the impact of our listening ear, or our support? We often don’t know how our words or actions can guide or heal, and it is something to remember for all of us (chaplains and non-chaplains!)

However, in this article I read about a ‘non-religious pastoral carer’ and the person in question (appointed by Humanists UK who were looking for people to provide support to people from a non-religious perspective) described chaplaincy as ‘in the moment’ and I summarise this sentiment below:

It’s not counselling – I don’t grapple with people’s pasts
It’s not coaching – I’m not focusing on the future all the time
My role is about the present: walking alongside someone, briefly, and helping them stay upright and balanced.

Are you helping others to stay upright and balanced? Are you walking alongside them?

Read more here

Seriously Troubling Times

By Alastair Reid, Chair, CWC

Life is always unpredictable but there are elements of stability which we rely on and make our lives that bit more manageable.

It is hardly a surprise that the situation in Ukraine would have far reaching effects. We’ve experienced the immediate effects on fuel, we are now beginning to see further ramifications of shortages. There are impacts on our basics such as wheat, we import 25% of our requirements from Ukraine and we are seeing shortages of other categories such as vegetable oil.  

It’s also not a surprise about the general increase in prices. In this mix we are all aware of the impact of the huge, not gradual, leap in home energy costs. For some these changes can be budgeted for and accommodated for by adjustments in discretionary spending. This still has an impact on the wider economy as it results, in the main, in reduced spending in other areas, which affects businesses and consequently, employment. 

There are many and I think its the majority of individuals and families who do not have the resources to manage these increases in this way. My family were poor, there was always food but we all knew that money was extremely tight and it wasn’t unusual to hear that the housekeeping for the week had been used up by Thursday. We managed. Later in life I developed health problems which meant I couldn’t work productively and my business folded. Fortunately my wife was working and we managed. This latter event was an eye opener in many ways, but it was particularly in the realisation of the stress my parents must have been under in the early years of our family. 

It seems our politicians have no conception of the way most people manage financially. It also appears they have no idea of the effects of sudden and/or rapid cost increases. They again appear not to have any idea of what its like to have to choose between cooking, heating, buying food, paying the rent, mortgage, credit cards etc. And, with the real possibility of homelessness persistently looming despite best efforts and application for some. 

Despite popular myth, most people want to work. Most people want a little enjoyment from life and a small financial buffer to allow some modest discretionary spending and work hard to achieve these. 

My personal impression was that the UK economy was in fairly robust shape despite Covid and exiting the EU. My impression now is that the economy is now much more fragile. The effect on the majority of businesses, regardless of sector is becoming noticeable. As said this will affect existing jobs and impact on future job growth. The consequent stress on employees, owners, directors will range from noticeable to very significant. There will be impacts on physical and mental health. More, again as said, will find it hard to maintain rents, mortgages and other financial commitments. 

Workplace Chaplains will be needed more than ever.

What are we about?

By Rev. Paul Hills, Vice Chair, CWC

What are we about?  As, hopefully, chaplaincy at work gets going again it’s worth asking that question.

There will be lots of answers about care, support, communication etc. and all will be correct.  Yet chaplaincy is surely a bit more.  I came across this poem by R.S.Thomas recently and I wonder if it speaks to chaplaincy.  It’s called “The Bright Field”

I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it.  But that was the pearl
of great price, the one field that had
the treasure in it.  I realise now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it.  Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past.  It is the turning
aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

Perhaps part of a chaplain’s work is to be the one who doesn’t hurry, who has time to be a listening ear, to “loiter with intent”. In that way a “brightness” might be noted, an opportunity to live more fully might be illuminated and taken.  It might be difficult to put that on a corporate spreadsheet, but it could be life changing for one person at least.

How was it for you?

By Canon Professor Clive Morton, Vice Chair (Peterborough) CWC
 
As I write this we have had an announcement from the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, proclaiming the end of Covid restrictions with an aspiration of ‘returning to normal’. A time for celebration, wariness or reflection? Probably all three!

CWC trustees have been discussing how we can capture experience and learn from the last two years of pandemic and how the pandemic has affected the work of chaplains. It is clear that all chaplains have had to adapt to new ways of working – often with workplaces shut and many employees working from home, imaginative ideas and practices have emerged to enable chaplains to keep in touch with colleagues and employees. CWC mounted a help line for chaplains and employees to keep in touch, and in keeping with most of the solutions devised, communications went digital. Who had ever heard of Zoom or Teams before 2020?

CWC is not the only chaplaincy organisation that is reflecting on the last two years’ experience. In January more than 120 people involved in chaplaincy gathered from across Baptist Together for an online chaplains’ day. Every chaplaincy sector was represented, from health, prisons and higher education, to the military, police, sport and other workplace settings.

In the first session, nine chaplains shared two-minute stories of what and how they had seen God at work in the recent season. Time was then spent in small groups in breakout rooms, listening to the stories of chaplaincy colleagues and praying for each other. In an evening session, Rosa Hunt, co-principal of Cardiff Baptist College, gave a keynote address on “Desire and disorientation”. This explored those moments when the innate spirituality of people becomes apparent even in what might otherwise be considered secular space.

This news of chaplains getting together to reflect on the last two years is encouraging, because your trustees have been planning an online symposium for chaplains in the Eastern Region for May 2022 with Rev Dr Andrew Todd (Senior Lecturer and Director of the Professional Doctorate in Practical Theology Anglia Ruskin University and Cambridge Theological Federation) to address two important questions for chaplaincy:

  • What has been the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on chaplaincy in the region?
  • How has chaplaincy adapted in the light of the pandemic, including in innovative ways?

This will be an opportunity for all those involved in chaplaincy in the region to meet together, to share insights arising from the last two years, support each other, and to learn how these insights might shape the future development of chaplaincy.

So, please watch this space – we will be publishing more details on the symposium as planning develops, and if you have ideas on the formation of this day and topics to be covered, please do say!
 
Canon Professor Clive Morton, Vice Chair (Peterborough) CWC

Mental wellbeing in the workplace in 2022?

By Jane Thompson
 
We’re moving swiftly into 2022, is it just me but January actually seems to have gone quickly this year? Maybe we are all just keen to get to Spring and lower Covid rates (fingers crossed).

Never has there been more discussion about our mental health and wellbeing and how employers should support staff, and the research and discussion in the news continues. It is good that people are realising that mental health is a continuum that needs to be constantly looked after.

A recent article I read that is featured on our Workplace Wellbeing Hub recommended reading list is how work-life balance and personal wellbeing are the top priorities for younger generations, (Gen Z and millennials) when looking for a job, according to a report by Deloitte.

Having said that, nearly four out of ten respondents do not believe their staff took efforts to assist their mental health throughout the pandemic.

Businesses must adopt a more compassionate work environment for reasons other than to get the best out of their employees.

In this article a few industry members share their visions for mental health in 2022:

Healthy, happy teams result in dynamic, resilient organisations: For all the talk of “work-life balance,” it is important to understand that as human beings, we can’t just flick a switch at the end of the work day and shake off the professional pressure.

“The workplace has an important supporting role to play in the wellbeing of its employees – we’re ultimately only as strong as the weakest link. Resilient, motivated employees make for dynamic organisations, so it really is in a company’s best interest to encourage and support the wellbeing of their employees in a structured and empathetic way,” says Reagen Kok, CEO at Hoorah Digital.

The physical environment must support wellness. The impact the physical work environment has on our wellbeing is increasingly well understood. According to David Seinker, CEO and Founder of The Business Exchange, In the world of hybrid work, the workplace needs to be more than a functional place in which work is done, but rather be an inviting space that promotes creativity and collaboration, or “less office cubicle and more café lounge”, as the Harvard Business Review puts it.

Serviced office spaces, a mainstay of hybrid work models, are characteristically inviting – spaces that incorporate greenery, natural light, art and design, all of which contribute to making the space a pleasant one to be in.

Empathy is key: Employees can easily conceal their troubles in the virtual world, either voluntarily or unwittingly. “Supporting mental health should be motivated by empathy, which demonstrates a genuine concern for the ideas, feelings, and life experiences of others,” says Matt Poladian, VP of People at Liferay.

The best way to build empathy is to listen intently to your people and proactively ask questions to learn more about what is going on with them.

“Empathy is essential for building an environment where all employees feel safe and comfortable. This is critical not just for the employees’ well-being but also for an organisation’s creativity and productivity,” explains Poladian.

Jane Thompson, CWC

Seeking Validation at Work

By Revd. Mary Hanna, CWC
 
It is a basic need for all of us in the workplace that we feel appreciated for what we do. Much stress at work arises out of staff feeling undervalued leading to a belief that what they do is of no importance. This affects self -worth and ultimately well-being.
 
As I reflect on the role of chaplains in the workplace, I am aware of how small our presence is in relation to the size of the organisations which host us. Our role is unique but frequently not well understood in the secular environment of the workplace. Chaplains too needs to feel validated in their role, to feel part of a wider team with all the social and psychological benefits that this confers. There are advantages for chaplains ‘working on the edges and margins’, to quote Woodward, but this can also be a lonely place to reside. So how do we ensure our role is understood and that our value is recognised?
 
Whenever possible we should link into our organisation’s human resources and wellbeing support services in order that our presence is highlighted and our roles and the benefits, we can confer to the workplace are better understood. Having a visible presence amongst staff and patients/service users will help ensure that we are in tune with changes and concerns ad that we are accessible.
 
 Of equal importance is to make opportunities to meet up with fellow chaplains in order to offer mutual support and to learn from one another. There are also numerous training and meetings where links can be established with colleagues. For those working in healthcare, the College of Health care Chaplains (CHCC) offers membership, courses and journals. There is also an annual 2/3-day conference: www.healthcarechaplains.org
For those working in mental health, there is the National Spirituality and Mental health Forum (NSMHF) for all practitioners and service users. www.spiritualitymentalhealth.org
 
Locally Cambridgeshire Workplace chaplaincy offers a monthly opportunity via zoom to link in with us and other chaplains. (See the link below in our newsletter). Your feedback as to how we can best support you will be invaluable to us in seeing to meet your needs.  
 
Revd. Mary Hanna, Trustee, CWC

Unconditional Support

By Revd. Michael Page CWC
 
A few days ago I was involved, on behalf of a charity where I am a trustee, in a conversation with another charity. The conversation was about looking at ways of working together in order to operate more efficiently for the benefit of those we all want to help. The sticking point was around the fact that the charity I represented has a faith basis whilst the other one is strongly secular.

We went back and forth for some time trying to understand where each side was finding difficulty until it dawned on me that our friends were concerned that our faith basis meant that our goal was getting others to adopt our way of believing, whereas we saw our faith basis as simply being the reason why we wanted to offer help. Once we were able to reassure them on that point, and by changing a couple of words in a draft statement of intest, we rapidly made progress.

When I was working as a prison chaplain I would occasionally be rebuffed with something along the lines of: “I’m not interested in religion” (although the words were not usually as mild as that!). I would then explain that my role was mainly about making sure that a person was OK and that they knew how to make contact with family or gain access to healthcare or were not retreating into themselves or any of the host of challenges that somebody serving a prison sentence might face during their time inside.

Even though I didn’t wear a clerical collar or any of the other external signs of the clergy, it was the very name ‘chaplain’ that created a barrier towards understanding the kind of support I might be able to offer.

In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare wrote “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And the question I have been asking myself is whether ‘chaplain’ is a helpful title to give to the people who carry out the broad sweep of supportive work that we know chaplains are often engaged in?

Over recent years I have heard of a number of organisations in the public sector and the business world that have dismissed or rejected support or services from any group that seems to have a faith dimension at its heart. What has happened to have caused those organisations to have such a negative response to any offers to help?

Whilst there may be all sorts of reasons for such a response, perhaps – just like the conversation I described – at the heart of the problem is the mismatch between perception and reality. We say: “We’re the church – or mosque or gudwara or temple – and we’d like to help.” They hear: “We’re the, whatever, and in exchange for some support we want you to adopt our beliefs.”

Somehow, we have to demonstrate that our support and help is unconditional. At the height of the pandemic, people of goodwill – of all faiths, and none – freely offered all sorts of help as a gift to their neighbours. And that help was gratefully received.

As a nation, we are in the middle of preparations for Christmas. The reality of Christmas can be very different from the way it might be presented in tv adverts or glossy magazines. For some, it’s an opportunity to meet with friends and family; for others, Christmas underlines their sense of loneliness. For some, it’s an excuse to indulge to excess, for others the empty cupboard has an even hollower echo.

For some, there will be gifts galore, for others there will be nothing,
For the Christian, the season of Advent has just started. It is also about preparing for Christmas. But this preparation is not about frantic buying and overindulging. Rather it is about expectant waiting. Waiting for a gift. We don’t know what the gift will truly look like nor how it will affect us. But it will be freely offered, with no strings attached.

As people of faith, and in our roles as chaplains, we have a part to play in sharing this gift – of a full and worthwhile life – with those around us, freely, unconditionally, with no expectation of any reward for doing so. There may be difficulties, people may misunderstand our motives. But let’s not be discouraged.

May this Christmas time present an opportunity to draw a challenging year to an end and space to anticipate what lies before you.
 
Revd. Michael Page, Trustee, CWC

Changing Values

By Jane Thompson CWC
 
Reading the news in the last week or so it seems to me that the fallout from the pandemic is starting to show very clearly in people’s shift in values. 

A recent article I read really brought this home to me, with an article stating 16 million workers plan to change jobs in the next six months. The number one reason behind this statistic? More than half, or 59%, of workers say their mental health is driving them to change jobs. Over half the workforce (51%) feels they are less than a month away from burnout.

Although a small sample of the population, I imagine this statistic is a good indication of general feelings in the workforce right now. It is an Employee’s market – people up and down the country are demanding flexible working (in the varying forms this can take). This is worrying times for Businesses and HR Managers as they battle to recruit good staff on one hand but equally on the other hand are trying to reassure and support existing staff during the pandemic.

The current change in values and work-life balance can be summed up in this conversation I overheard this week between two parents;

Parent 1: ‘So are you not missing the International Travel?’

Parent 2: ‘Not really to be honest! We have all adapted, it is a more balanced life now between work and home life. I am home and part of our family routine more and it suits all of us much better – why would I want to adapt again? I would lose the new habits and go back to how things were, which wouldn’t be a positive move at all – things are so much better nowadays’.

The data makes this even more pertinent; earlier this year the Health and Safety Executive published research which found 43% of all sick days are taken now due to work-related stress and burnout.

This must be the wake up call to all of us – employers, business owners, managers and employees; we all have to take health and wellbeing seriously, not just as a basic human function